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Sick Bay

by The Beverly Crushers

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implosion_addict thumbnail
implosion_addict An album so good, they made a seven season tv show and two spin-offs based on it. Seriously though, its a great album and "Only Data?", "Resistance is Futile" and "Four Lights" have ascended beyond their role as parody songs. The other tracks are very entertaining for any star trek fan. The clever references seep out every time I listen and the lyrics are catchy. Favorite track: Four Lights.
shalin327 thumbnail
shalin327 Funk Bass, Horns, Hammond Organ---what's there not to love?

Ahead Full...
stix47 thumbnail
stix47 This album is fabulous - lots of different styles - lyrics are great! This has been a great find - I'm so glad I got it!!! Favorite track: A Stool in Ten Forward.
joe maciesza
joe maciesza thumbnail
joe maciesza Just received my albums thanks a bunch! Loved the bonus album and stickers
  • Streaming + Download

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      $4 USD  or more


  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Confused by how your phone connects to your car stereo? Us too!

    Includes unlimited streaming of Sick Bay via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 7 days

      $7 USD or more 


  • T-Shirt/Apparel + Digital Album

    Available in multiple colors and in men's and women's fit shirts. Add a comment on which color you'd like, otherwise we'll send you Royal Blue. Available colors = Black, Navy (dark) Blue, Asphalt (light grey), Royal (light) Blue, Cranberry (dark red), Kelly Green, Heather Blue, Brown, Dark Heather (dark grey), or (dark) Purple

    Includes unlimited streaming of Sick Bay via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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      $20 USD or more 


  • T-Shirt/Apparel + Digital Album

    With Geordi in his quarters replicating a fatty...finally, you're in the crew and you're beaming down.
    Please indicate a color: comes in White, Baby Blue, Pink, Yellow, Green, (very light) Silver, and (light) Heather Grey
    Men's sizes run a little small for that boarding party fit.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Sick Bay via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 3 days

      $22 USD or more 


  • T-Shirt/Apparel + Digital Album

    Available in Men's, Women's, and Youth sizes, and in White ink printed on the following colors (which you should specify in your added note): Black, Navy, Royal Blue, Dark Red, Pink, Bright Red, Olive, Dark Heather, Heather Blue, and Purple.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Sick Bay via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 3 days

      $18 USD or more 


  • Sick Bay vinyl record
    Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    Pressed to limited edition vinyl, discover every easter egg with our extensive liner notes - get your copy of Sick Bay today, or buy one for that TNG fan in your life

    Includes unlimited streaming of Sick Bay via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

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Only Data? 03:50
I was made, I was not born Not a man just a human form Does the face you look upon Hide a mere automaton Well I have this uniform I have worn All my life, but am I alive? Everyone I call my friend, is it pretend? Because I feel nothing inside Does everyone I know See me as Pinocchio No strings just a modern net Just a thing I can not forget Can it be the path I chose Comes down to ones and o’s Now just what am I supposed to feel? I need to know - am I real? Or am I only data? Never slept but I had a dream, How can that be? Well I think, does that mean I am? On that night with Tasha Yar, When we took it way too far she told me she could make me a man As I walk this human path Never cried but I had a laugh No fear never felt regret No pain never been upset All across the galaxy Is there no one else like me Tell me what was I designed to be Do you know - am I real? Just look inside of me All I have is circuitry Does my net disguise a soul Do my parts define my whole If it would reveal a heart You could rip me all apart I would give up all the stars to feel Just to know, am I real?
Darmok on the ocean His face is black, but his eyes are open With sails unfurled, faces wet Kailash it rises, Temba at rest Kira at Bashi, children of Tama With eyes closed, the beast of Tanagra The arms of Temba, open wide When eyes are red, Kailash will rise! Shaka - When the walls fell Darmok and Jalad on the ocean Her sky gray, an army with fists open Ubaya, of the crossroads under two moons an army with fists closed The river Termac, Termac in winter
Holodeck 4 04:16
Stardate, last night When I walked into your quarters My pants got tight They say you’re perfect No man can withstand you But you know my only wish Is to be your commander So I sit down next to you I know you think I’m sexy too I slide through your Jefferies tubes And explore your hull Come on baby don’t be afraid Because you know I can last for days Open up your cargo bays Welcome your crewman home I can see your legs are shaking baby But my body’s set to stun And I may not be your first officer honey But I’ll be your number one And if you want more I’ll be in Holodeck 4 First officer’s log, supplemental Just tell me how you like it Is it rough or gentle I’ve got a probe prepared for you That will do the trick It’s only class 5 baby But it’s nice and thick I know you want to get close to me Drop your shields, give an opening This is how it’s supposed to be There ain’t nothing to fear Come on baby let’s make it real I’ll replicate your favorite meal Give in to my sex appeal And get lost in my beard
Nightbird 03:01
First there was the hive Now there is just one Resistance is futile We are of a mind to still the human tongue Resistance is futile You know the outfits are so much fun, we offer peace but you draw the gun It’ll only hurt a moment Bring your mind along, merge it with the sky Resistance is futile Sing a simpler song, We will get you high Resistance is futile Bitchin’ phasers and a laser sight, You’ll look good in the black and white It’ll only hurt a moment We have heard the anguished shouts of men who fight amongst their closest kin Spilling blood from lesser clans, the human fate, an ancient plan A race was born with powers high, to conquer worlds, to redesign Ours is not to denigrate, We seek but to assimilate
We’re on a motherfucking trek yo Let’s start at #1, 2, 3, 4 Well it’s Lieutenant Commander No not the android, Homie with the fucked up eyes, steady hand on the warp drive keeping us alive on this enterprise Ya’ll should run and hide cuz here comes old yellow eyes Robot in disguise repping star fleet Slinging Tasha Yar meat In the dark, beat Klingons in battle Steady never addled, fucking Sherlock Yes I grok every riddle ever rattled But back up in the saddle It’s your boy oh the #1 Stunna Call me Pips Ahoy I deploy on these hos Like they clothes on a turbolift It’s a gift what I’m packing I never think of slacking on my duties Never falling asleep, never been accused of slipping, never dropping a beat I got my captain at my side so I never get skittish, he’s some Frenchy motherfucker Who’s pretending he’s British This shit is tight son interstellar flight doing right son, Third shift in command every night son And I know you sweat the crew cuz we’re second to none And when we blast a phaser never setting to stun It’s the away team On a beam to the surface We’re seeking out life and making suckers nervous It may seem like we’re tryin’ to start beef But never be forgettin’ That we’re reppin’ the fleet On the mic next it’s the fucking righteous first officer Willie Rike sits down When I’m talking up crew ladies I’m never getting maybes And it’s the future son so I’m never sweating babies Coming back son Damnit the android of action Just expand, got no use for contractions Fools be sliding out my way like an opening door Cuz at my fucking back is the G to the Eord, to you it's Mister La Forge I'm engorged just thinking ‘bout The warp core's semaphore, Primarily directed by my underdrawers Leah Brahms and her moms both Understand the problems that a black blind engineer, with no fear, is facing while we chasing exploration of the year Advisor with the visor oh I got the captain’s ear So hold on to your saucers cuz the boss is fucking here A man on a mission ain’t no competition Sweats no decision Honies getting wet when they with him No fission he’s running on dilithium Unstoppable you blink and you miss em Jean Luc’s spitting truth with his diction Bitches in several different planetary systems But when they hit ‘em up When he’s running the bridge He be like um, new communicator, who dis? It’s the Away Team On a beam to the surface We’re seeking out life And making suckers nervous It may seem like we’re coming in peace but best be get to stepping Or you’re met with defeat From the streets of Omicron Theta The fucking tin man But you can call me Data I never knew my father Got a long lost brother In time I relied on me and no other Not data but you can call me daddy With Geordi in his quarters Replicating a fatty I run this bitch out at warp speed Locking on the torpedoes It’s the Forge Got the helm twenty three six four True player rocking gold on my eyes Computer who’s the lowest down pimp On The Enterprise That’d be Willie T, best be saluting me Sweat no sca-rutiny Number One no Ma-utiny And he’s putting Klingons on they back again Then he educate their crew what they lackin’ in Attracting bitches to my dick like a tractor beam Pan-galactically ladies all holla back at me And that’s the team putting fuckers on the run Coming to your hood and never sweating it son It’s The Away Team On a beam to the surface We’re seeking out life And making suckers nervous It may seem like we’re trying to start beef But never be forgetting That we’re repping the fleet It’s the Away Team Beaming to a hostile planet We’re snuffing out life And suckers can’t stand it Stay cool never breaking a sweat And if you want to step don’t forget We’re on a motherfucking trek yo! So let’s end it on the one
These crewmates of mine Have got my back No puny Human can beat me like that So let’s go, I’m just getting hot The balls on the felt, blade on my belt You take the first shot Your crewmen can try to talk and talk Believe me ensign I ain’t gonna balk So let’s go, I’m ready to play The rest of your life is ending tonight You’re going to pay You’ve got no gramba Go cry to your mama We’re dealing out trauma When we’re on the attack I feel like fighting This wrong we’ll be righting By the blood of the Ohm I’m sending you home With my knife in your back Cuz these crewmates of mine Will rip you apart We’re bigger by half, try not to laugh When we’re breaking your heart
Sons of Mogh 02:04
I was born on Khitomer but spent time in Minsk I had a couple of human parents, had me convinced That I was just another boy (Klingon, please. What, like Spock?) When all I wanted to do was eat some gach Fast forward many years from Khitomer, where the Romulans killed so many My pops took the blame but he was not the enemy But the damage was done and our name was disgraced And in the High Council chamber I could not show my face We are the Sons of Mogh Fighting to restore our family name Pretenders will die without honor Sto’Vo’Kor won’t host their shame, Qapla’ I found I had a brother never met before Kurn became cha’Dich and got my back in a time of war Served aboard the Enterprise with distinction and honor Turns out Duras was the turncloak and now he is a goner We continue to fight for glory til the battle is won And then me and Counselor Troi can go home and get it on And when it’s time for love or some Klingon hanky panky I can kill someone by looking at them but only when I’m angry. Later I found myself aboard a space station Where Benjamin Sisko handled every situation With precision and tact, just like you knew he would And even though I ain’t Bajoran I knew the prophets were good Then I met a chick with all these spots on her face And though I tried, yes I tried to put her in her place I found myself in love but then along came Dukat who killed her but then Sisko gave him what he got
I got me a job on the transporter beams I take lots of orders, away lots of teams When I’m not yes sir’in I’ll be without fail On a stool in Ten Forward with a Romulan Ale I got me a lady, she’s bonny and wee, Ei’er she’s tending her plants or she’s bawling at me You know where to find me when she starts to wail On a stool in Ten Forward with a Romulan Ale Be you android or Klingon or Betazoid dame When we’re sharing a drink we’re all one in the same So when you get lonely just come tell your tale On a stool in Ten Forward with a Romulan Ale Now this great enterprise hasn’t come without cost Some stools now stand empty for crewmen we’ve lost So raise up your glass in a silent salute And show the departed we stand resolute Cause our continuing mission’s to trek into space But we’re never a’fearin’ The dangers we face ‘Cause we got us a Captain he’s tough as a nail, and A stool in Ten Forward with a Romulan Ale When your 8 standard hours of working are through Just come to deck 10 and be part of our crew You’ll find there some spacers, both ruddy and hale On the stools of Ten Forward with a Romulan Ale
Four Lights 10:53
There are four lights, they’ll never take me There are four lights You cannot break me Taken, used upon the front line deepest thoughts revealed as headlines When it's done who is left at home? Now return a shadow of my Childhood gone a shattered bloodline Plucked from vines my father worked alone In dreams I live a simpler kind of life With aspirations buried deep inside Sink beneath an ocean decades high As memories that flood my open mind Across the sky, a thousand years behind A million suns explode before my eyes A melody, a lifetime, or a word A planet’s cry, a distant song I heard Death can only lead to life reborn A tapestry that weaves a different form A child must learn to fight for all he owns like waves of light that bathe my coming home


Star Trek: The Next Generation is a show that exists. We wrote an entire record about it. You really shouldn't deprive yourself of this.


released July 3, 2020

Recorded at Louder Studios in Grass Valley, Tiny Telephone, SF and Surprise Rock HQ, SF. Mixed and Mastered by Tim Green at Louder Studios. All Songs Published by Infinite Turbo ASCAP ©2020 Released by The Chop Unlimited


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The Beverly Crushers San Francisco, California

Our continuing mission: to craft songs in homage to Star Trek: The Next Generation, from the perspective of Next Gen characters, to immortalize their lives and their struggles, to boldly reference what is even upon recent re-watching an amazing television program. ... more

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